...I got a year older and the recession appears to be deepening. I was not hired anywhere today, although I didn't really look. There are storefronts in downtown Portland that are empty, like Looking Glass Books, and it doesn't look right. Nobody is in the shopping mall at Pioneer Courthouse Square.
I continue to wait for my bailout, but it's been about 7 days and there's no sign of it. Bank of America has gotten 45 billion, and they're raising the interest rates on some of their credit cards for long term customers. Meanwhile, I have not gotten any stimulus package.
I've been waking up in the morning and the first thing that happens is my stomach tightens with dread. Then it travels up my spine to the muscles at the base of my skull -- the way I always feel when I'm ashamed of something I've done. Shame. Why should an unemployed person such as myself feel shame? I did not aspire to my current position in life, and yet it found me. More precisely, I find myself in it.
So I will celebrate a birthday tomorrow and avoid the dreads and the shame for at least a day. Obama sees a glimmer of hope, so I'm going with that.
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